I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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