My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're not piercing ourselves today.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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