I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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