ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize