While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize