Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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