is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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