Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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