It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize