we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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