did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think im in europe. pls send help
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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