He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize