I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
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I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
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You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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