if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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