Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize