Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
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