Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
You took a bar mat shot.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
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