Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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