my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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