I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize