you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize