im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
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i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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