cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
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MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
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I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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