nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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