The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
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