Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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