a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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