I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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