batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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