I'm jealous of your bromance
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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