i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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