I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize