My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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