I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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