The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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