He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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