was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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