I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
as a side note pls kill me
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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