Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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