im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize