She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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