I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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