You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
and she was petting her beer can
so let's talk penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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