I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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