I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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