there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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