all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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