He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
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me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
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So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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