I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
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Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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