You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
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